Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Fiat are using pandas as crash test dummies!!



Omg!!

This is just too sick –

European car manufacturer Fiat are using wild animals as crash test dummies!!

Nope, I could hardly believe my eyes at first either, but in their latest ad campaign, Fiat subject a Panda, a couple of penguins, and what looks like a walrus, to horrific crashes in a Fiat 500!!!

It’s particularly sick and totally senseless – when was the last time you saw a panda driving a car? And as for the two penguins, well they are barely big enough to see out of the windscreen. So what bloody good are they as crash test dummies?

Sick sick sick….

Wax model of Obama in Paris

Who wants to live forever? sang Freddy Mercury.

Obviously not him, because he lived a carefree life and died of Aids at the age of just 45.

But immortality – never having to die – is one of those things that will, I think, eventually become a real possibility rather than just a matter a speculation or fantasy.

Because it must just be a matter of time before the scientists locate the genes in DNA responsible for aging and come up with ways to alter them so that the aging process is stopped.

But let's hope they do it right. Otherwise it could mean that that 5-year old kid stays like a five year old forever!

Immortality might not be for everyone though. Yes, if you've got loads of money and a beautiful wife you might be quite happy, but I imagine the notion of death and the afterlife might provide some comfort to the factory workers of the world.

The idea that immortality is a curse rather than a savior is also the theme behind the story of my childhood comic hero Adam Eterno, a man who "cursed in 1580 by his master Erasmus Hemlock for quaffing the Elixir of Life, is doomed to wander the Timelines fighting evil and injustice forever".

But for now, immortality is still some way off and the best we can do is leave some sort of legacy. Like a wax statue, perhaps.

And the latest one to hit the headlines is by a Frenchman and it's of US President Barack Obama.

It's said to be very soft. Surprise surprise…

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Monday, 29 June 2009

Michael Jackson arrives in Purgatory

Michael Jackson arrives in Purgatory, and is told that in the new kinder, gentler, more customer-focused Purgatory, each person is offered three choices of torture to redeem themselves of past sins. Michael is told that the torture will last one week and after that he can pack his bags for Heaven.

Michael is taken to the first room where a man is hung up by his feet and is being whipped with chains. Michael says he does not think that is where he wants to start.

They then proceed to the next room where a man is hung up by his arms and is being whipped by a cat-o-nine-tails. Michael also declines this form of torture.

The third room has an old, dirty looking man strapped to the wall naked, and a young boy is performing oral upon him. Michael tells the Devil this is more like it, and this is the one he wants.

The Devil says, "Are you sure? It lasts for a whole week!" Michael assures him this is the punishment he wants. So the Devil walks over to the young boy and says ... ...

"You can go now, I've found your replacement."

*Note: Purgatory is the stop-off junction for either Heaven or Hell (depending on your behavior on planet Earth). Those that meet the grade go to Heaven, and those that don't are dumped in Hell. Unlike Hell (which is run by the Devil) and Heaven (which is managed by God), it's not really clear who calls the shots in Purgatory. Perhaps a joint venture management scheme is in place!

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