Tiger Woods: the serial cheater?

Bad Tiger. Bad, bad, bad Tiger. Bastard tiger. Bastard, bastard, bastard…

But does Tiger Woods really look like a nasty bastard to you? Well, not by a long shot! I mean you couldn’t come up with a more polished and wholesome looking dude than the affable Tiger Woods. So what went wrong with the guy?

Well that’s just it. Nothing, really. Nothing went wrong. It’s not that Woods is a bastard - it’s just that he can’t help himself; i.e. he’s basically hard wired to cheat. It doesn’t matter that he’s married to one hell of a sexy lady – a Swedish model for God’s sake – the fact is Tiger’s gonads have been programmed to multiply – and that’s what they’re gonna do!

This is what made Tiger, and what made him the World’s greatest ever golfer; it’s called narcissism, being in love with yourself, and having the energy and commitment to being the best at what you do.

Poor old Tiger. It wasn’t really a choice that was his to make. It was programmed into him a long long time ago.

You might as well blame his parents instead.

Tiger's "scorecard" so far

1.) Rachel Uchitel. Club hostess who linked up with Woods during a golf tournament in Australia. So far, she has denied the affair.

2.) Jamie Grubbs. 24-year-old reality show contestant and cocktail waitress. Claims to have a voicemail to prove there was something between the two.

3.) Kalika Moquin. 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas reportedly had a brief tryst with the Tiger. She has neither confirmed or denied the reports.

4.) Cori Rist. This 31-year-old swimsuit model was reportedly “flown out” to secret locations for “hook ups”.

5.) Jamie Jungers (pictured). The 26-year-old is a former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie. She now has a trashy tale to tell.

6.) Mindy Lawton. 33-year-old pancake house waitress from Orlando. I bet she flipped a few things with old Tiger!

7.) Holly Sampson. The inevitable former porn star – must be great in the sack! - who starred in such great films as “OMG, Stop Tickling Me” and “Flying Solo 2.”

8.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8. A former cocktail waitress from Orlando.

9.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9 is reported to be a “sexy” British TV presenter who was single at the time, but is now married (I bet her husband’s chuffed. NOT.)

10.) Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10. is reported in a UK paper to be a “sex-addicted cougar.”

How to get more hits on your blog?

How to get more hits on your blog?

I’m certainly not going to make this blog into yet another one of those SEO blogs, but here’s my two cents worth on the matter anyway – with tongue firmly in cheek!

1. Write a blog post called “How to get more hits on your blog?” so that people searching for the phrase “How to get more hits on your blog?” will come to your blog.


2. Offer ridiculously cool prices like laptops, Ipods, ebook readers and snazzy digital cameras to readers through regular competitions (just don’t let the wife know why you are broke!)


3. If you are an attractive women then be sure to camwhore and write lurid accounts of your wanton sex life on your blog and make it clear to readers you are looking for action. If you are not an attractive women – or even a woman at all - pretend to be anyway!


4. Spend 10 hours a day creating backlinks (as if there’s better things to be doing with your life like going out, doing sports, dating etc!)


5. Make up lots of scandalous lies about celebrities and post them on your blog with loads of sexy pictures (while waiting for their lawyers to prepare charges against you).


6. Make sure you have the name of a well known celebrity like “Britney Spears” in the title of your latest post - even if it is a post on gardening or sub-atomic physics.


7. Become famous (football player, rock star, politician etc) so everyone will come to your blog anyway!

Michael Jackson and Warhol

Find a magazine with a picture of Michael Jackson in it. Cut out the picture using a pair of scissors. Now the creative part: scan it into a PC and then mess around with the colors a bit using Photoshop.

And hey presto: you have a masterpiece worth $812,500!


A "Thriller"-era silk-screened portrait of Michael Jackson created by Andy Warhol has sold for $812,500 to an anonymous collector.

The 1984 portrait depicts a smiling Jackson in a jacket with squiggles of red and yellow in his hair.

I’ve done a similar thing with the singer Beyonce:



Now the original isn’t for sale. But I am offering prints at just US$100 (payment via Paypal)!

And I reckon this is a good offer. Cos it’s a lot cheaper than Warhol’s Michael Jackson – whose value, let’s face it, won’t hold up in the long term. I mean, sure Warhol is still famous today, but who is going to care about his pop art in say another 50 years? Or what about in 100 years? US$812,500 for Jacko pop art? I’d rather eat a banana...