Monday, 29 June 2009

Michael Jackson arrives in Purgatory

Michael Jackson arrives in Purgatory, and is told that in the new kinder, gentler, more customer-focused Purgatory, each person is offered three choices of torture to redeem themselves of past sins. Michael is told that the torture will last one week and after that he can pack his bags for Heaven.

Michael is taken to the first room where a man is hung up by his feet and is being whipped with chains. Michael says he does not think that is where he wants to start.

They then proceed to the next room where a man is hung up by his arms and is being whipped by a cat-o-nine-tails. Michael also declines this form of torture.

The third room has an old, dirty looking man strapped to the wall naked, and a young boy is performing oral upon him. Michael tells the Devil this is more like it, and this is the one he wants.

The Devil says, "Are you sure? It lasts for a whole week!" Michael assures him this is the punishment he wants. So the Devil walks over to the young boy and says ... ...

"You can go now, I've found your replacement."

*Note: Purgatory is the stop-off junction for either Heaven or Hell (depending on your behavior on planet Earth). Those that meet the grade go to Heaven, and those that don't are dumped in Hell. Unlike Hell (which is run by the Devil) and Heaven (which is managed by God), it's not really clear who calls the shots in Purgatory. Perhaps a joint venture management scheme is in place!

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